


I Left Because I Loved You

by Livelikeyoulove222



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Feelings, Friends to Lovers, How Do I Tag, M/M, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-27 07:24:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12576668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Livelikeyoulove222/pseuds/Livelikeyoulove222
Summary: It has been four years since Mark left GOT7. He left because no matter how hard he tried, the idol life wasn’t for him. He left because his anxiety was beginning to eat him alive. He left because he was gay, in love with one of his best friends, and too scared to tell anyone about it. He moved back to LA and went to work for a friend of his fathers’ photography company. Now they are sending Mark back to Korea, Seoul to be precise. What happens when Mark runs into the rest of GOT7 by chance and finds he still loves Jaebum just as much as he did the day he left.





	I Left Because I Loved You

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like I don't see enough Markbum on here. So I wrote my own. There isn't any offensive language but there may be triggers on how Mark sees himself so be warned there. Other than that it is a pretty safe story, I hope you enjoy!

“Seoul? Is there anyone else you can give this assignment to?” Mark asked his boss.

“Mark you are the best one for the job. Not only because you are the best Korean speaker we have, but also one of our strongest photographers. Not to mention our client asked for you specifically after seeing some of your pieces.” Mark’s boss replied.

Mark knew that no matter what he said, he was going back to Seoul. It would be the first time in four years, ever since leaving.

“May I ask who asked for me?”

“They asked to remain anonymous. I know it is a bit unorthodox but this is a really important deal for this company.”

“I know, sir. I will do my best.” Mark replied, still feeling a bit uneasy about the whole situation.

 

 

A week later Mark found himself entering a park in Seoul. The client wanted pictures of nature against the backdrop of city. Well that was part one of the assignment. Next he would need to talk pictures of the city at night, and then at sunrise.

Mark was taking a few test shots while his assistant started to set up the space. His assistant was a man named Jason and had become one of Mark’s closest friends. He knew about why Mark had left Seoul and had made sure he was able to make it on this trip with Mark, for moral support.

Mark was stepping back, trying to get a tree with beautiful blossoms in the frame just right, when he felt himself collide with a body. A firm body at that.

Mark turned around quickly about to apologize, when his eyes met a familiar pair.

Mark’s eyes widened, his heart began to race. He tried to turn away but the other man’s hand was quick to grab Mark’s wrist.

“Mark hyung?” Jackson said, voice just above a whisper.

Mark closed his eyes, deciding whether to continue to run or face this head on. It didn’t take too long to decide. Jackson and he had always had a special relationship, brought together by them both being from another country.

“Hello Jackson-ah” Mark said turning to face Jackson.

“It really is you…after all this time. Hyung, where have you been? Why did you leave? Does anyone else know you are here? Why are you here?” Jackson began rambling.

“Jackson-ah, slow down. I can answer your questions but I need a chance to speak before you ask another one.” Mark chuckled. It was nice knowing Jackson hadn’t changed.

“Sorry, sorry. Do you have time to eat? I was just meeting the kids for some lunch.” Jackson asked.

Mark thought about it, not sure if he was ready to see more than one person from his past this soon.

Jackson noticed Mark’s hesitance and took Mark’s hand in his again.

“Trust me Mark hyung. Bam and Gyeomie will be so happy to see you. They were never angry, just hurt and confused.” Jackson said.

“Just those two?” Mark asked, still unsure.

“I promise just those two. The others are busy today, working on their albums.” Jackson said.

“Albums?” Mark asked.

“Yeah, we tried it as 6 but it just wasn’t the same. So Bam, Gyeomie and I are doing some solo stuff. So is Youngjae-ah. Jaebum hyung and Jinyoung-ah are doing JJ Project again. You had no idea?” Jackson asked, looking almost hurt.

“I’m sorry Jackson-ah. I tried to keep up with you guys at first but it hurt more and more. Plus with the time differences it was hard.” Mark said.

“It’s ok, you’re here now. Let’s go surprise the kids.” Jackson said, with a warm smile.

“Let me go and tell my assistant where I am going and make sure he’s ok on his own. One minute.” Mark said turning to where Jason had been standing, waiting patiently for some sort of direction from Mark.

 

“Jason, would you be ok on your own for a few hours? I just ran into an old friend and-“

“I know who he is Mark. I was a fan of GOT7 remember? Go, catch up.” Jason said with a smile.

Mark handed him some money for food, and with a chuckle and a hug Jason sent him on his way back towards Jackson.

 

“Who was that hyung?” Jackson asked, a hint of jealousy in his voice.

“Jason, my assistant and closest friend back in L.A.” Mark answered.

“So there is one answer. You have been in L.A.” Jackson said.

They walked in mostly silence on their way to the restaurant they were meeting BamBam and Yugyeom at. Jackson clutched onto Mark’s arm, as if afraid he would run away.

When they entered the restaurant Mark started to feel a bit anxious.

Jackson, who knew Mark the best, could sense his discomfort.

“Its going to be ok hyung. Its just the kids. Don’t overthink this.” Jackson said as he tugged Mark in behind him.

“Sorry I am a little late, but I ran into someone on the way.” Jackson announced as they arrived at a table. Jackson tugged Mark from behind him. Mark was greeted by a shocked silence, and equally shocked faces.

BamBam had fire red hair, while Yugyeom’s was black. As the seconds went on, Mark started to doubt this was a good idea.

“Jackson-ah, maybe you and I can catch up some other time, I don’t think this was a good-“ before Mark could finish saying idea, Yugyeom had jumped out of his chair and launched himself at Mark.

Luckily Mark was able to keep his balance and was able to hold onto the giant maknae. After a few moments, Mark realized Yugyeom was shaking.

“Yugyeom, you’re shaking.” Mark said quietly.

Yugyeom didn’t say anything, just nuzzled his face further into Mark’s neck. Only then when Mark felt wetness on his neck, did he realize the maknae was crying.

“Hey, it’s ok. I’m here.” Mark said, rubbing Yugyeom’s back comfortingly.

“Hyung, I miss you so much.” Yugyeom sobbed.

“I miss you too, Gyeomie. I’m so sorry. I am an awful hyung.” Mark said, tears coming to his eyes.

“Stop hogging the awful hyung. I want to hug him.” BamBam said standing up and coming up behind Yugyeom.

“You aren’t awful. You must have had a reason for going.” Yugyeom said as he released Mark and walked to stand beside Jackson, who put an arm around his shoulders.

“Mark hyung, your style has changed. I’m proud.” BamBam said, earning a chuckle from Mark as he moved in for a hug.

“Still the same old Bammie I see.” Mark said warmly.

“So, how have you all been?” Mark asked once they all finally sat down and ordered their food.

“Ok, busy. Things were a lot different after you, well you know. Left.” Yugyeom said, cheeks reddening a little.

“It’s ok. You can say it. I didn’t handle things well and you all deserved more than just a note saying I was leaving. I just didn’t know how to face you all. I was afraid if I saw you, I would change my mind and stay. I thought I was doing what was best for you all, and for GOT7.” Mark said.

“Why did you leave hyung?” BamBam asked.

Mark was thinking about how to answer when he heard a voice from behind him he wasn’t ready to face.

 

“Eating without inviting us? I’m offended. Who is our guest?” Jaebum asked.

Mark stood up abruptly.

“I gotta get back to work. It was nice seeing you all, maybe we can see each other again before I leave. Sorry to run, but duty calls.” Mark said trying to get away as fast as he could.

Mark walked to the door, ignoring the shocked faces, and his name being called.

He was halfway down the block when he felt himself being turned around quite forcefully.

“So you can sit, eat, and talk with them, but you don’t want to see me at all?” Jaebum said, his signature temper on full display.

“I-it’s not like that Jaebum. I really do have to get back to work…” Mark trailed off weakly.

“Yeah, ok. If that really is the case, let me come with you. After you are done, we can spend some time. I think you owe me that much.” Jaebum said.

“Fine. Come on then.” Mark said turning and trying to take his arm out of Jaebum’s grasp. He found that wasn’t going to happen however.

As they walked, Jaebum slipped his hand down Mark’s arm and grasped his hand in his.

Mark tried to calm his racing heart, to no avail.

Once they reached the park, Mark took his phone out and tapped on Jason’s contact.

“Hey, are you back yet?” Mark asked when Jason picked up.

“Yeah, I see you have a handsome guest. It that who I think it is?” Jason said, waving so Mark could see him.

“Yeah, I’ll explain later.” Mark said hanging up and making his way towards Jason. Jaebum followed, still not releasing Mark’s hand from his grasp.

“Jason, this is Jaebum, Jaebum this is Jason my-“

“I am his assistant and most trusted confidant. Nice to meet you.” Jason interrupted.

Mark could feel Jaebum squeeze his hand almost painfully.

“Most trusted confidant huh?” Jaebum replied, temper flaring again.

Confused with Jaebum’s reaction, Mark tried to defuse the situation.

“Let’s just get started. Jaebum, I’m gonna need both of my hands for this. You can sit over there if you want.” Mark said, gently taking his hand out of Jaebum’s grasp.

Jaebum surprised Mark by pulling him into a hug, and kissing his cheek.

“Don’t take too long. We need to have a talk, and it is long overdue.” Jaebum said into Mark’s ear.

Mark just nodded and made his way over to Jason who was waiting with Mark’s camera patiently.

 

“I thought you said you had to leave because your feelings were unrequited. That doesn’t look unrequited to me.” Jason said with a smirk.

“They are, he was always like that, at least with the members. It doesn’t mean anything. I’m sure once he gets me alone, he won’t be so calm or nice. Let’s just get to work. Please.”

They worked for a few more hours, until the light was gone.

“Ok, let’s end it here for the day. Tomorrow morning we will do the sunrise shoot, so don’t go too crazy tonight.” Mark said as they began to pack up their equipment.

“Sure thing boss. Same goes for you.” Jason said, adding a cheeky wink.

Mark just rolled his eyes.

 

Finally, Mark made his way to where Jaebum was sitting. Jaebum was scrolling through his phone, and Mark took a moment to watch him. He was still as beautiful as he ever was to Mark, and he realized how much he had missed him.

Mark cleared his throat to get Jaebum’s attention.

“I’m all yours now. I can’t stay out late though, I have a really early shoot tomorrow.” Mark said once Jaebum had moved his eyes onto him and away from his phone.

“I will be there too. I am not leaving your side the whole time you are here. Tonight is just going to be you and me. Tomorrow you are going to see Jinyoung and Youngjae. You know how big of a mouth Jackson has. Good news travels fast. Come with me to my apartment.” Jaebum said standing and taking Mark’s hand.

Mark knew it was futile to argue with him so he let himself be lead by Jaebum out of the park.

“You are still in the music industry right? How are you walking around without a mask?” Mark asked.

“Things have changed since you have been gone. There’s a new law that says that paparazzi and fans cannot come close to us unless we invite them over. If they approach or follow us, there will be a hefty fine. Of course that doesn’t always keep them away but it isn’t as bad as it was.” Jaebum explained.

Mark thought that if that rule was in place four years ago, that would have eliminated one of his reasons for leaving. As if reading his mind, Jaebum glanced at Mark.

“I guess if that happened earlier, maybe things would be different right now, huh?”

Mark just shrugged and looked away, ashamed he wasn’t able to cut it back then.

They walked the rest of the way in silence. Mark could feel Jaebum’s glance on him every so often.

Once they made it inside Jaebum’s apartment, Jaebum finally released Mark’s hand from his grasp.

“Do you want anything to drink?” Jaebum asked, walking into what Mark assumed was the direction of the kitchen.

“No thank you.” Mark said, shuffling awkwardly in the entryway.

“Go sit on the couch, I will be right in.” Jaebum called from wherever he disappeared to.

Mark made his way to the couch and sat on the edge, as if at the ready to make a run for it should he feel the need to.

Jaebum walked in and sat right next to Mark. He just studied him for a few moments in silence. Mark could feel his face turning red under the intense stare.

 

“So, I want the no bullshit answer. Why did you leave?” Jaebum asked, not bothering to ease into the subject.

“It was complicated.” Mark answered looking down at his hands.

“I said the no bullshit answer.” Jaebum replied.

Mark closed his eyes, and took a deep breath.

“I left because I thought that was the best for GOT7 and for myself. I wasn’t cut out for the idol life. No matter how long I was in the band and in the spotlight, I just couldn’t get used to it. I was having panic attacks almost daily, I wasn’t sleeping well. It wasn’t healthy and I didn’t want to drag the rest of you down. I-I’m not normal. I couldn’t damage GOT7’s reputation.” Mark said, still not able to face Jaebum.

“Nothing about Idol life is normal Mark. That was what being a team was for. I feel like I failed as a leader. What do you mean, damage our reputation? Because you couldn’t speak perfect Hangul, because you were quiet, or shy?”

“All of those things you just mentioned were factors in my decision but they weren’t the reason I left. I fell in love.” Mark said.

“So you left so the dating ban wouldn’t apply to you? You couldn’t have waited a little bit longer?!” Jaebum exclaimed.

“It wasn’t like that! I fell in love with a man, ok?! Are you happy now?! I am gay! I know it isn’t considered ok or right to be that here, but I couldn’t pretend anymore. It was killing me. I didn’t want to ruin what was happening with GOT7 and all the hard work you guys put in to be there, so before it got out and ruined everything I left! I moved back to L.A. I got a job as a photographer, and I came out.” Mark rambled.

Jasebum just sat in stunned silence. Mark took that as his cue to leave.

“I should go now, I know this changes things for you. All I ask is that you don’t say anything to the rest of the boys. I will tell them myself, before I head back home. I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable. Goodbye Jaebum, be well and take care of yourself.” Mark said standing from the couch and making his way to the door. When he heard no indication he was going to be stopped, his heart dropped.

 

Mark quickly put on his shoes, exited the apartment and hailed a taxi. Silent tears fell from his eyes. At least Jaebum knew most of the truth now. Mark couldn’t bring himself to tell Jaebum he was the man he had fallen in love with.

Once he made it back to his hotel, he quickly changed into his sleep clothes, washed his face and climbed into bed. He looked at the clock and noticed it was only 8pm but he was so exhausted with the whole day that he fell right to sleep. He was woken up to loud banging on his hotel door. Glancing at the clock, he noticed it was now close to midnight.

Mark got up and stumbled his way to the door. He opened the door without checking to see who it was. When he saw who was at his door, all the sleep left his body.

“Jaebum? How did you know where I was staying?” Mark asked confused.

“Remember the anonymous client? Surprise. It was me.”

“But…how?” Mark asked more confused than ever.

“Can we talk about that inside maybe?” Jaebum asked.

Mark opened the door wider and stepped to the side, letting Jaebum enter his room.

Mark watched as Jaebum toed off his shoes and made his way to sit on the end of Mark’s bed.

“So, to answer your question. I was looking for some photos to put up in my new apartment a few weeks ago and I found one I instantly knew I had to have. It was such a simple, yet beautiful shot. It was night time, you can see distant lights from the city and the moon reflecting on the water running through the middle. You can see the silhouettes of two people, holding hands. You can’t tell if it is a man and woman or a man with another man. Just that these two people were looking at the other person and only the other person. I looked at who the photographer was and only initials were there. M.T. I couldn’t stand not knowing, you know how I am. So I did some digging, and low and behold. A ghost from my past. I almost didn’t contact your boss, content to just have a piece of you back with me in a way. But then I realized just one piece of you wasn’t enough. I needed the real thing. And here you are.” Jaebum said.

Mark had just been standing near the door listening in stunned silence.

“Mark, why did you have to leave? You didn’t trust us to be there for you at all, we could have tried to help. Did you not know how much you meant to us? How much we needed you?! How could you leave us?!” Jaebum finally exploded, standing from the bed.

“I left because I didn’t need help! I’m not someone that needs to be fixed! I left because even though I knew you would all mean well, it hurt too much knowing you would try to help me by trying to change me. Even if you all did accept me for who I was, I couldn’t handle being hidden. I couldn’t do that, not any longer. I couldn’t stand being so close to the man I love and not being able to say anything or do anything about it.” Mark said, equally as intense.

 

They both stood there, panting and staring at each other.

“You said love…as in present tense. You still love this man?” Jaebum asked.

“Yes, there isn’t a place far away enough to get away from my love for him. I did what I did to protect him.” Mark said tears beginning to stream down his face.

“Who do you love Mark?” Jaebum asked, softly, gently.

Mark closed his eyes tightly and shook his head. He could never tell Jaebum it was him. He wouldn’t be able to take the disgust and rejection.

“Who do you love Mark?” Jaebum asked again, his voice sounding closer than before.

“I-I can’t.” Mark said.

“Who.Do.You.Love.Mark” Jaebum repeated.

“Why do you need to know so badly?! Aren’t you disgusted by me?! Do you need to know so you can warn them to stay away from me?!” Mark sobbed out.

Jaebum didn’t reply but grabbed Mark and pulled him into his arms. Mark tensed, not sure what to make of this turn of events.

“Shhhh, I’m here. It’s ok. I am here now, and I’m not letting you go ever again.” Jaebum said, rocking Mark and running his hand up and down Mark’s back comfortingly.

Mark melted into his embrace, finding himself to be exhausted all over again.

“I think we talked enough today, let’s get some rest and we can talk more tomorrow.” Jaebum said, still ever the leader.

Mark could only nod. Jaebum helped him to the bed. He lay Mark down and pulled the covers over him. He then made his way to the other side of the bed and climbed under the covers.

After a few moments of silence, Mark reached over and shut the lights off.

Mark felt sleep pull at him and just as he was about to fall asleep he felt Jaebum shift. The next thing he knew, he was being turned towards Jaebum and being pulled closer to him. Jaebum tucked Mark’s head under his chin and pulled Mark’s arm across his stomach. It didn’t take Mark long to fall asleep after that.

 

They were woken up the next morning by Mark’s phone going off. They had traded places some time during the night. Now Mark woke with Jaebum cuddled up to him, his head on his chest and clutching to Mark as if afraid to let him go.

“Shut it ooofff.” Jaebum whined, nuzzling his head into Mark’s neck. Mark prayed that Jaebum didn’t feel his racing heart.

Mark quickly picked his phone up from his bedside table, seeing Jackson’s contact staring at him. When Jaebum made another noise of displeasure, Mark hurriedly picked it up.

“Hello?” Mark answered, sleep still evident in his voice.

“Hyung! Are you free today? I was wondering if you wanted to come to lunch with all of us. I can’t reach Jaebum hyung though.”

Mark glanced at the time and noticed it was just past 7 am.

“And why did you need to call and ask me that this early? But, yes I can do lunch today. Just text me the time and place and I will make sure to be there.” Mark said, hanging up before Jackson could go on. He turned the phone to silent and put it back on the bedside table. Only then did he noticed that Jaebum had not in fact gone back to sleep, but was tracing circles on his chest.

“Jaebum-ah, why don’t you try to get some more sleep.” Mark said, trying to keep his voice steady,

“I haven’t seen you in four years. I haven’t heard your voice, I haven’t been able to feel you like this. I had no idea where you went, why you left. Hell, I didn’t even know if you were alive! I don’t want to waste whatever precious time I have with you sleeping.” Jaebum said, lifting his head and looking directly into Mark’s eyes.

Mark felt such a rush of emotion for Jaebum in that moment that he couldn't help but answer his question from the night before. 

 

“You.” Mark whispered.

“Me, what?” Jaebum asked, confused.

“It was you, it is you. The man I am in love with; is you.” Mark said.

Jaebum lifted himself completely off of Mark, an unreadable look on his face.

 

“It’s ok, I know you don’t feel the same but I figured I owed you the truth after everything I put you all through. Especially you as our leader, I never meant to make you doubt your capabilities. I just needed you to know. No regrets and all that. I will finish the job you assigned me and then be back in L.A. before you know it.” Mark said, a sad smile on his face.

“I am going to take a shower, you are welcome to stay but I understand if you feel the need to leave.” Mark said making to stand up, but Jaebum pulled him back down onto the bed.

“I forgot you always do that.” Jaebum said, smirk coming across his lips.

“Do what?” Mark asked confused.

“Jump to conclusions without letting me process everything you throw at me and give you an answer of my own.” Jaebum chuckled.

“Well was I wrong?” Mark asked, a little defensively.

“Yes. Very wrong, I am not leaving, I told you last night I am never letting you go again. Did you ever stop to consider the possibility that I could feel the same?” Jaebum asked, a soft smile on his face.

Mark just stared back, in shock. No, he had never stopped to consider the possibility that Jaebum could return his feelings.

“Mark, you were my rock. You may have been quiet, but you were my source of quiet strength. I knew after a day of tough schedules I could come to sit with you and just have silence. You were a comfort to me, and you may not have even realized it, but you helped me raise those kids so much. Gyeomie and Bam idolized you so, so much. Youngjae would look like he just won the lottery anytime you gave him praise or showed him any type of affection. Jinyoung, it was no secret how much he loved to take care of you. Jackson had such a connection with you, it made me jealous. The fact you didn’t feel those things and felt the need to leave, I’m sorry I failed to make sure you knew how cherished you were, and still are.”

“Still?” Mark asked, tears coming to his eyes.

“Yes, still. Bam and Gyeomie still ask about you, wonder about where you are and what you are doing. They mostly just hoped that you were living happily, safe and loved.” Jaebum said, moving a piece of hair out of Mark’s face.

“I’m so sorry. I thought I was doing what was best. I mean, think about what the consequences for the team could have been if my feelings for you, or males in general, had gotten out. Not only to the public, but to JYP even. I would have brought you guys down, just for being associated with me. You all worked too hard for that to be thrown away one day, just because of one member. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone, it was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made.” Mark said.

“You fool. We could have figured it out all together. You know what hurts me the most about this whole situation?”

Mark shook his head.

“The fact you felt you had to hide all of this from us, that you couldn’t come to us for help. Even if I didn’t feel the same about you, I would have been there for you. You were-no you are- so very important to us. And I plan on making sure you never forget that ever again.” Jaebum said, cupping Mark’s cheeks in his hands.

“You…you feel the same?” Mark whispered.

 

Instead of answering verbally, Jaebum moved in and kissed Mark softly. It was just a short, brief meeting of their lips but it meant so much more.

“I hope that answers your question.” Jaebum asked with a chuckle.

Mark just hid his face in Jaebum’s shoulder and giggled.

“God, I missed that sound.” Jaebum murmured, wrapping his arms around Mark, and pulling him onto his lap.

Mark melted into Jaebum’s embrace for a few moments. Then he realized the time and shot right out of them.

“Mark?” Jaebum asked, voice shaky.

Mark looked at Jaebum and saw the panic in his eyes.

“I’m not running away, I promise. I just realized that I missed the sun rise photo shoot and have to call Jason. I will be right back. Why don’t you try to catch a little more sleep and then we can meet everyone for lunch a little later. Sound good?” Mark asked, cupping Jaebum’s face with his hands.

“It would sound better if you said you would be coming back to bed with me.” Jaebum replied with a smirk.

“Alright, after I make this call. I just need to make sure Jason doesn’t think something happened to me. It won’t take me a full 5 minutes, I swear.” Mark said with a smile.

Jaebum nodded and lay back down, a soft smile replacing the smirk.

True to his word, Mark was back after a quick two minute phone call, apologizing for missing the sunrise shoot and deciding to make today’s shoot the sunset one.

Jaebum was already asleep, laying on his back with his hands behind his head. Mark took a few moments to admire Jaebum’s face, soft in sleep. After he got his fill, he climbed into the bed has quietly as he could, moving slowly so as to not jostle Jaebum as he slept.

Once he was settled, Mark rolled onto his side, back facing Jaebum so he could plug his phone back onto the charger. Just as he was about to turn onto his back, Jaebum turned over and brought Mark back into him, spooning him from behind. He nuzzled his face in the space between Mark’s shoulder blades and then settled back into slumber.

“You always were like a cuddly koala, I guess things never change.” Mark whispered with a chuckle before letting himself succumb to sleep.

 

A few hours later, Mark and Jaebum were on their way to meet the rest of GOT7 for lunch.

“I’m nervous Jaebum.” Mark admitted.

“Why? You’ve already seen the majority of us and I think that the reactions were reasonable. What makes you think Youngjae-ah and Jinyoungie are going to be any different?” Jaebum asked.

“Youngjae-ah is the literal sunshine and I know I hurt him leaving like I did. I can’t bear to think of how I dimmed his light. He is so pure and I did something so terrible to him. And Jinyoungie, we all know his judgmental stares. If any of you were going to hate me, I mean actually hate me, my money was on the two of you. I’m not ready to face his wrath!” Mark exclaimed, anxiety making him louder.

Jaebum pulled them to a stop in front of the restaurant. He took Mark’s face in both of his hands.

“Mark, look at me. You need to take a deep breath. It’s going to be ok, and even if their reactions are not ideal in this exact moment, in time things will be ok. We have gone through too much together for it to be any other way. It’s best to get these uncomfortable situations over with quickly, not letting things drag out. I will be right there with you, the whole time.” Jaebum finished.

Mark closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and nodded at Jaebum when he was ready to move inside. Jaebum grabbed Mark’s hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

When they entered the restaurant it wasn’t hard to spot the rest of the group. Jackson was being obnoxious as ever, and Youngjae’s loud laugh could be heard a mile away.

“What’s Jackson done now?” Jaebum asked as they approached the table.

 

All five faces turned in their direction at once. Mark took a startled step back, but Jaebum pulled him to his side.

“It’s ok, they aren’t going to kill you.” Jaebum whispered in Mark’s ear with an amused chuckle.

No one moved or said anything for what felt like forever.

“Jaebum, I don’t know. Maybe we shouldn’t have just sprang this up on them.” Mark whispered.

Mark started to back track, trying to loosen Jaebum’s hold on him.

“Mark…” Jaebum started.

“I-I just need some air.” Mark said before turning and walking quickly out the door. He rounded the corner so they couldn’t see him through the window and crouched down with his back against the wall. He had had anxiety/panic attacks before but this one took him by surprise.

He was still crouched down, his face down and hidden in his hands, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Jaebum, I said I needed some air.” Mark said without looking up.

“I’m not Jaebum.” A familiar voice responded.

Mark whipped his head up and was looking directly into Jinyoung’s eyes.

“Jinyoung…” Mark whispered.

“Oh, so I am not Jinyoungie anymore? Good to know.” Jinyoung responded, voice strained.

“No, you are always going to be Jinyoungie to me! I just thought-I didn’t want to assume it was still ok for me to call you that.” Mark answered looking down at his hands.

“Why wouldn’t I be ok with you calling me Jinyoungie, Mark-hyung?”

“Because I left you. I left with no warning and I didn’t let any of you know why. I disappeared and I just thought you wouldn’t want anything to do with me after that.”

“I won’t lie to you. At first that is exactly how I felt. Over time though, that changed. I realized I had only felt like that because I was angry, hurt and felt betrayed. Once the anger died down, the hurt lessened. The betrayal turned into worry. I was worried about you and where you were and if you were ok. I was worried I had been the reason you left, like I had done something that you couldn’t forgive.” Jinyoung said, gently placing his hand on top of both of Mark’s.

“It wasn’t you, you did nothing wrong. None of you did, it was all me. I left because I thought that would be what was best for all you. I left to protect you, so you all wouldn’t be tainted by me.” Mark said.

“What could possibly be so wrong with you that leaving was the only option?”

“I-I’m not normal Jinyoungie. I would only hurt GOT7’s image if my secret was to come to light. I-it’s still hard for me to even say it in front of you. I-I-I like men, I’m gay.” Mark said, screwing his eyes shut.

 

Jinyoung was silent for a few moments before pulling Mark into his embrace.

“You fool. You left because you thought your sexual preference was going to insult us, hurt us? Don’t you know us or trust us? We would all be there for you, the whole reason for being a team is to be there for each other. We would fight with you.” Jinyoung said, placing a kiss to the top of Mark’s head.

Mark just held onto Jinyoung and started to sob. He cried out of relief and regret for ever choosing leaving as the best option.

“Shhh, it’s ok. I got you. I will always have your back. Now, let’s dry those eyes and get back in there. I know Youngjae is impatiently waiting for you.” Jinyoung said, with a chuckle.

Mark nodded and wiped at his face. When he looked at Jinyoung, he could see unshed tears in his eyes.

“What a pair we make.” Mark joked.

Jinyoung just laughed and pulled Mark up.

“Let’s go.”

 

Mark had barely walked fully into the door when he felt a body barrel into him.

“It’s my turn now. Jinyoung-hyung hogged you for too long.” Youngjae said, his words sounding suspiciously strained. That was when Mark felt his shoulder getting a little wet.

“Youngjae-ah. Are you crying?” Mark asked, rubbing soothing circles on his back.

“I didn’t know if you were dead or alive these last few years! Of course I am gonna cry when you come back!” Youngjae exclaimed.

Everyone just chuckled at that. It was comforting for Mark to see that Youngjae hadn’t changed, that none of them had really.

When Mark looked to Jaebum, he had a soft smile on his face watching the scene in front of him. When he noticed Mark looking at him, he sent a wink and mouthed “Told you so”.

Mark just stuck his tongue out at Jaebum playfully.

“Ok, enough with the emotional reunions. I’m starving!” Jackson exclaimed.

Mark tried to make his way over to the table but Youngjae wouldn’t budge.

“Youngjae-ah, time to let go.” Jinyoung said, gently trying to detach him from Mark.

“No! I’m never letting him go again!” Yoiungjae said stubbornly.

“You can sit right next to me.” Mark compromised.

Youngjae nodded and attached himself to Mark’s left arm as they walked towards the table. Mark sat next to Jaebum, while Youngjae sat next to him on the other side.

They all began eating and chatting as if they hadn’t ever been apart.

 

“So where were you all this time hyung?” BamBam asked.

“I moved back to L.A. I am a photographer now. I think I am better behind the camera than I ever was in front of it.” Mark answered.

“I can see that. Can we see some of your work?” Yugyeom asked.

“You already have Gyeomie.” Jaebum said.

“Jaebum has some of my work in his apartment. I am actually here on a job, and the anonymous client ended up being Jaebummie.” Mark explained.

“I saw “MT” as the artist initials and I don’t know why, but I had an inkling it was him. So I took a shot and here he is.” Jaebum said, looking at Mark with the fondest of looks.

“Are we missing something?” Jackson asked, looking between the two.

“Hmm?” Mark replied, looking at Jackson.

“Something seems different…you two seem awfully close….”

Mark and Jaebum looked at one another. Jaebum just shrugged his shoulders, letting Mark know he would go along with whatever he was ready to tell the others.

“Well, it goes along with the reason I left. Can we maybe discuss this somewhere a bit more private?” Mark asked.

The others nodded and it was decided they would all meet up at Jaebum’s apartment after they were finished eating.

 

Once they all arrived at the apartment, Mark sat on the couch, Jaebum on his left, Jinyoung on his right. The rest of the boys spread out. BamBam and Yugyeom sat on the floor right by Marks feet, each resting their heads on his legs. Mark smiled affectionately at them. They didn’t always act like the maknaes but they seemed to sense when it was the right time.

Youngjae sat with Jackson on the love seat, his head resting on his shoulder.

“Ok, I think you all deserve to know why I left. Before I tell you why, I want to apologize first. No matter the reason, I should have handled it better. So please know I regret what I did.”

“We don’t need an apology, we forgave you the moment we saw that you were alive and well.” Youngjae said.

“Always so dramatic Youngjae-ah.” Mark said through a chuckle.

Mark took a moment to gather his thoughts. Jaebum squeezed his hand and Jinyoung rested his head on his shoulder, both showing their support and offering comfort.

“When I left, I was going through some…revelations. I found out something about myself that not everyone would be very accepting of and I didn’t know how to handle it. I thought of what it could mean for the rest of you, if my secret got out, and I couldn’t be the reason that you all could end up suffering with me; so I decided to suffer by myself. You all worked so hard to make your dream come true and I wouldn’t allow myself to be the reason it could all be taken away. So, I did the only thing I could think of to protect you. I decided to remove the problem, which I believed was me. I didn’t know how to tell you all, and I didn’t want to admit out loud what I knew inside, so I left without a word. I thought I was doing what was best for all of you. I never once thought about how you all may have reacted. I just assumed you would all be angry and hate me and that would be that. I didn’t think you would all be missing me this whole time and for that I feel awful.” Mark said, a tear falling from his eye.

Jaebum reached across and wiped the tear from Mark’s face and gave him a soft smile.

“Now, I know you all want to know what could have been so awful about myself that I had to leave. I-I’m not normal. I like men, I am gay. If that wasn’t enough, I was in love with a man and I decided before that all got out and ruined your images, I would leave. If my being gay changes things for any of you, I understand. I don’t want to make any of you uncomfortable.” Mark said. He waited for the maknaes to jump away from him, he waited for words of disgust to come. But they never did.

The maknaes only snuggled closer, Youngjae was crying softly into Jackson’s shoulder and Jackson was looking at Mark with a lost expression.

“So you left us because you thought we would look at you differently just because you like men? You didn’t trust us, or our love for you?” Jackson asked.

“It wasn’t just that! Even if you guys still supported me, if that got out to the media do you know what that would mean for GOT7? Do you think I would want to put all of you through that nightmare?!” Mark responded.

“You didn’t give us a chance hyung! More than anything I would want to fight for you, beside you!” Yugyeom exclaimed, tightening his hold on Mark’s left leg. Mark ran his hand through Yugyeom’s hair, in an attempt at comfort. It seemed to work, as Yugyeom melted into the touch.

“I wasn’t thinking of any of that, and I am so sorry. I wanted what was best for you all, that’s it.”

“You being here with us is what is best for us!” Youngjae said.

“I know that now, but I also know its too late to ask for forgiveness for making any of you feel this way. I loved you all so much then and I still love you so much now.”

“Who did you love hyung?” BamBam asked.

“Leave it to Bammie to remember that part of it.” Mark chuckled.

“I still love that man to this day, and I just recently found out that my feelings are reciprocated. He’s in this room. Can any of you guess who?” Mark asked, trying to lighten up the mood.

“It’s either Jinyoung-hyung or Jaebum-hyung because they are each glued to your side….” Jackson said.

“My vote is Jaebum-hyung. I felt something had shifted at the restaurant. Plus, he was always softest with you Mark-hyung.” Jackson continued.

“Ding Ding Ding, we have a winner!” Jaebum responded.

“This is so cute!!!” Youngjae yelled.

Everyone laughed at his reaction.

“But, what does this mean now? How long are you here for Mark-hyung?” Jinyoung asked.

“I’m here for a few more days, then I am back to L.A.” Mark responded quietly.

“What does that mean for you and Jaebum hyung though? Long distance relationships can be really difficult to deal with…” BamBam asked.

“We haven’t gotten that far yet, but I mean as a photographer I can work from almost anywhere.” Mark replied.

“What I can promise you though, is that I am not disappearing again. Even if I am not physically in Korea, you can contact me now. Plus you guys could come see me in L.A. if you ever felt like it.” Mark said.

Everyone smiled at that, feeling better that they could at least talk to Mark this time around.

They all stayed and talked for a few more hours until Youngjae had to go because he had scheduled some time in the studio. Jackson said he needed to go meet with his manager about some upcoming appearances. Jinyoung had to go because he had a date that night, though he kept tight lipped about who it was with.

 

Which left Jaebum and Mark with the maknaes.

Yugyeom whispered something into Jaebum’s ear. Jaebum gave him a fond smile, nodded his head, and took BamBam aside.

“Bamie and I are going to see if there are any good snacks, we should watch a movie or something before Mark has to go to his photo shoot.” Jaebum said.

Once they left the room, Yugyeom moved to sit next to Mark on the couch.

“Hyung?” Yugyeom asked, sounding nervous.

“Hmm?” Mark responded, looking at Yugyeom.

“I really missed you, ya know? You are my favorite hyung, I really look up to you.”

“Thanks Gyeomie, I’m sorry I hurt you.” Mark said, ruffling the maknae’s hair.

“I don’t care that you hurt me, you came back and apologized. You explained how you were feeling…I want to apologize to you. I wish I had shown you how much I loved you. That nothing could take that away, I wanted to be able to support you like you support all of us. Please, don’t leave me like that again. I know that I’m just the maknae but I can be there for you too!” Yugyeom said, tears falling.

“Hey, hey, hey. You did nothing wrong, I knew you loved me. It was my own insecurities that caused me to run away. I promised already I wasn’t going anywhere again. I love you so much, Gyeomie. You have no idea how hard it was to leave, how hard it was to stay away. Not one day passed that I didn’t think about you. I’m here now, and I couldn’t leave again, even if I wanted to. I don’t have the strength.” Mark finished.

He pulled Yugyeom into his arms. The maknae climbed onto Mark’s lap and hid his face in Mark’s neck.

Mark rubbed soothing circles onto his back, smiling fondly.

Jaebum and BamBam peeked around the corner. Mark gave them a thumbs up, signaling it was ok to come back in.

“We found popcorn and some candy. What movie are we watching?” BamBam announced entering the room.

“Anything is fine with me.” Mark replied.

Yugyeom had stopped crying but refused to leave Mark’s lap. Jaebum just ruffled his hair affectionately and sat next to Mark.

They decided on Captain America: Civil War. Yugyeom fell asleep within the first 15 minutes, exhausted after crying. Mark was soon to follow leaning his head on Jaebum’s shoulder, arms still around the makane. BamBam and Jaebum just smiled at each other and looked on fondly at the other two.  


Once the movie ended, BamBam came to wake up Yugyeom while Jaebum was working on waking up Mark.

Yugyeom woke first. He got up off Mark’s lap, rubbed his eyes and stretched.

“What time is it?” Yugyeom asked through a yawn.

“Around 6:00. Which mean Mark-hyung has to wake up.” Jaebum answered, gently shrugging his shoulder.

“Stop moving.” Mark grumbled.

“Come on sleepyhead, time to get up. You have a job to do.” Jaebum chuckled, kissing the top of Mark’s head.

Mark reluctantly sat up.

“Ok, ok Mr. Bossman. I’m up.” Mark said, stretching his body.

“Mark-hyung…do you think we can come with you?” BamBam asked.

“Sure, if it doesn’t get too boring for you that is.” Mark said with a soft smile.

So about 15 minutes later Mark showed up at the shoot location with three other people in tow. Jason greeted each of them kindly, stating he was a big fan.

The shoot lasted about an hour and then BamBam and Yugyeom said their goodbyes, only after Mark promised to see them again before he had to head back to LA.

Jaebum took Mark back to his hotel, where they spent a relaxing night together.

“I can’t believe this is real life…I actually have you with me and in my arms.” Jaebum whispered once they got into bed.

“I could say the same thing.” Mark whispered back.

Jaebum planted a kiss on the back of Mark’s neck.

“We do need to talk about what happens after I leave in a few days…”Mark said quietly.

“I consider you mine. I hope you consider me yours. Long distance relationships can be hard but I know my love for you can withstand it. Plus like you said, it may not have to be long distance forever. Let’s enjoy our time now, agree to be exclusive when you go back and I stay here, and just take things as they come for now. Deal?” Jaebum asked.

“Deal…I love you Jaebum.” Mark said turning around in his arms to face him.

“I love you too Mark.” Jaebum said before kissing Mark’s lips sweetly.

~~~6 Months Later~~~

“Thanks for helping keep this on the down low guys.” Mark said, walking up to Jinyoung and Jackson.

“It’s no problem! Jaebum has been working so hard and has been under a lot of stress. This is just what he needs to help him get back to normal.” Jinyoung said with a smile.

“Does he know you have already found a place here yet?” Jackson asked.

“Nope, he just knows I have been looking around for a place.” Mark answered.

“This is going to be so epic! I can’t wait to see his face!” Jackson exclaimed.

Mark just chuckled at his friend’s excitement.

“Now let’s get Mark to Jaebum. He sounded particularly grouchy when I called him earlier.” Jinyoung said.

The three men made their way to the studio Jaebum was working in.

“I have the address you sent me, so Jacks and I will go drop your stuff off there. Go take care of Jaebum. I think he really needs you right now.” Jinyoung said with a soft smile.

Mark thanked them and made his way into the building. Jackson had sent him the number of Jaebum’s studio, so Mark made his way there.

When he opened the door, he saw Jaebum in front of the mixing equipment, head in his hands.

Mark quietly closed the door behind him and tip toed to Jaebum. He wrapped his arms around Jaebum from behind.

Jaebum jumped but quickly relaxed back into Mark’s embrace when he realized who it was.

“Hey baby. How’s it going?” Mark whispered, kissing Jaebum’s temple.

“So much better now that you’re here. But how are you here, when did you get here?” Jaebum asked.

“Just a little over an hour ago. Jackson and Jinyoung helped me out. How long have you been here?” Mark asked.

“A few days, I really need to finish these songs.” Jaebum said.

“Have you eaten?” Mark asked.

“I had some ramen earlier.” Jaebum said closing his eyes and leaning his head back.

“Ok, here’s the plan. Save whatever you have done for today, I am taking you to get something real to eat. Then you are coming back to my place and getting some much needed rest. I will let you come back here first thing in the morning, but you are done for now.” Mark said firmly.

“But-“

“No ‘buts’. Listen to me for once.” Mark interrupted.

Jaebum just sighed and nodded his head. Once he had everything saved, they left the studio hand in hand.

“How did you get here?” Mark asked.

“My car.” Jaebum replied.

“Ok, give me the keys. I don’t trust you driving when you look half dead on your feet.” Mark chuckled.

Mark drove them to the closest restaurant. There he ordered them two servings of meat with all the fixings, and two lunch boxes.

“Eat.” Mark ordered once all the food had arrived.

They ate in comfortable silence, and by the end of the meal, Jaebum looked ready to pass out right there.

“Ok, now off to my place.” Mark said, leading Jaebum out of the restaurant.

“Which hotel are you staying at?” Jaebum asked through a yawn.

“I’m not staying at a hotel. You’ll see when we get there.” Mark replied with a smile in Jaebum’s direction.

It took them 10 minutes to get to Mark’s apartment but Jaebum had already fallen asleep.

“Babe, wake up. We’re home.” Mark said, gently shaking Jaebum’s shoulder.

“Hmm?” Jaebum mumbled.

“I need you to help me. I can’t carry you all the way. Once we get inside, I promise you can go back to sleep.” Mark said.

Jaebum nodded his head and groggily climbed out the car.

They stumbled their way to Mark’s door, Jaebum practically hanging off Mark the whole way there.

Once inside, Mark led Jaebum to the bedroom. He lay Jaebum down, took off his shoes and helped him out of his jeans. He pulled the covers up to Jaebum’s chin and kissed his forehead.

“Sleep well my love.” Mark whispered.

He shut the door behind him and made his way into his living room. He turned the tv on low, and started to unpack.

When Mark was sitting on the couch watching some T.V., taking a break from unpacking, Jaebum stumbled out of the bedroom. He looked around confused at first but his face lit up in a smile when he saw Mark sitting on the couch.

Jaebum sat himself right on Marks lap and put his face in the crook of his neck.

“You really are here. I thought it may have all been a dream.” Jaebum said.

“Not a dream, I’m really here. What are you doing up? I thought you would be sleeping through the night because I know you barely sleep when you are in the studio.” Mark replied, a lightly scolding tone to his voice.

“How can I waste my time with you by sleeping? How long do I have you here this time?” Jaebum asked, sitting up to look in Mark’s eyes.

“Well, that depends. How long do you want me here?” Mark replied.

“Forever, duh.” Jaebum answered, cupping the left side of Mark’s face, fond smile on his face.

“Then forever it is.” Mark said with a smile.

“What?” Jaebum asked, confused.

“Welcome to my new apartment. My photography company is opening a branch in Seoul and they sent me to be the lead photographer. If everything goes the way I hope it does, I will eventually take over the branch myself one day.” Mark said, a shy smile working its way onto his face.

“You aren’t playing some cruel joke on me are you? This is real life? You are moving back to Seoul?” Jaebum said.

“I am moving back to Seoul, no jokes and not a dream. I’m coming back, for good.” Mark said.

Jaebum moved in and kissed Mark with more passion than he ever had before.

“I can’t believe this, this is the second best day of my life!” Jaebum exclaimed.

“What was the first then?” Mark chuckled.

“The day you came back in my life.” Jaebum answered, the most loving look coming across his face.

Mark just smiled lovingly at him and pulled Jaebum in for another kiss. After a heated make out session, Mark broke away for air.

“Ok, ok. I am not going anywhere, slow down Jaebum. We have time. It’s late though and I am exhausted. Come to bed with me.” Mark said.

Jaebum nodded with a giddy smile on his face. Mark led them back into the bedroom. They got ready for bed together, and when they finally climbed into the bed, Jaebum laid his head on Mark’s chest.

“I love you Mark Tuan.” Jaebum whispered before his breath evened out.

“I love you too, Im Jaebum.” Mark replied, before following him into sleep.

They both woke the next morning feeling more rested than they had in a long time.

“I can get used to this.” Jaebum whispered, voice still raspy with sleep.

“Well, get used to it. You are stuck with me for good.” Mark replied.

After breakfast, Jaebum had to get back to the studio.

“See you later babe.” Mark said, kissing Jaebum goodbye at the door.

“See you later, my love.” Jaebum replied.

It was the start of their new beginning and both men couldn’t wait to see where it would take them.

 


End file.
